Monday, June 6, 2011
Too Short?
My life feels like I have been in a stage of transition and waiting for about 2 years. This time two years ago I was anticipating a move back to Stillwater and school, with the idea that when I was done I would probably move back to St. Louis. This time last year I was about 3 weeks into a new marriage, and two weeks had past since my grandfather died. Six months ago my grandmother died, 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant, and just this week I realized I will be done with school in a month or so (hopefully). In all this I keep wondering what is next for me (now for us). I use to worry about the future a lot. I would spend weeks worrying - but over the last couple of years that has stopped. I still worry, but the thoughts are fleeting. Now with our little lemon I find myself worrying again - worrying about if we will be able to make it on Adam's salary and what little I bring into the house. Like most mothers I don't want to work full time, I want to be home. We might have found a few ways to make this happen where I can work some and stay home, but I still worry about money (the eternal worry in my life). It wasn't until the sermon yesterday that I finally put that to rest (well, it comes back but I just remember one phrase). He was talking about Remembering and why we remember, and one of those reasons to remember is to remember how God helped us in the past and how we can hold onto the hope that he will help us in our future. His verse to remember was Numbers 11:23, when Moses told God that the people wanted meat, and God said he would provide. Moses was saying how impossible it would be to supply all of those people with meat and God said "Is the Lord's hand shortened? Now you shall see whether my word will come true for you or not." (ESV). In the NIV He says "Is the Lord's arm too short?" So that is what I am trying to remember. The Lord's arm is not too short for Moses, it has not been too short for me in the past, and it will not be too short for me in the future.
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